Hey everybody, welcome into the mind of the coolest muthafukker' on the face of the planet. I'm like Dirty Hairy, Bruce Lee, and Evil Kinevil all rolled into one. Nothing phases me, and I handle every situation with cool confidence and smooth style. I am a ladies man, a man's man, and a drowning man.

One day, I was on my way to my partner Freddy's crib to pick up a special package that I was supposed to deliver to Big Man Jake. I have done business with Big Man before, and he is not somebody you want to mess around with. Freddy lived in a real rough part of the city. I had to go to the rear entrance of his biulding, down a back allyway, because Freddy was too paranoid to let me in the front. There were three hoodlums lingering in the shadows of the ally, a few cracked out white kids who had obviously given up on their futures. I was packin' my trusty Smith and Wesson, and was more than prepared to handle any trouble these punks wanted to cause.

"Hey Bro-" one of the weasles hollers at me as they see me stride down the ally, "Can you spare a few dollars? I ain't eatin' shit in days!"

"Look punk," I say as I stare him in the eye, "There is nothing I can do to help you out. You have to help yourself."

"We thought you would never ask!" he hollers as his two companions flank me from either side. Before I can grab my piece, the two hoodlums grab me by my arms. I am suprised by thier strength, these punks are deceptively powerful. Suddenly I realize that these are not your everyday crackheads. The first guy, the leader, lets out this unhuman screach - like the sound of a thousand tortured demons. I struggle, but am helpless under the power of the two punks. Suddenly the head mutherfukker' bites my neck!